When I was a kid I was scared to do anything. There were certain playground apparatus I would not even dare try. The monkey bars? No way, I would not even fathom it. I did not even give it a try and scrape my knee before I decided it was a bad idea. 

When I was ten, my family and I took a trip to Disneyworld. It was a great experience for the most part, but as many of you may know or have heard, they have some pretty spectacular rides. Although afraid of a lot of them, I did partake in trying them out with my siblings.  The only thing is I did not actually experience too many of them because I had my eyes closed the whole time. The ghost train, eyes closed. Tower of Terror, eyes closed. Anything of height was basically eyes closed (and maybe the It’s a Small World ride because it was so boring it could put you to sleep). 

This went on for a large portion of my life. I was a thrillseeker whose eyes were always firmly shut. I did all of these cool things, but never saw any of it. 

I have never been a fan of heights and when I was in the single digits of my life I had an accident where I laughed so hard I fell backwards from a height and sustained a head injury. I think this is where my fear of heights stems from, although I could be wrong. 

Fast forward to my adult years. I think I was early twenties and I was on a family day out with my sister and her kids. We went to a funfair and of course there were rollercoasters. I had not been on a ride for quite a few years. This time I thought “let’s see how it is if I keep my eyes open” and guess what? The experience was a million times better! But who am I kidding? Most people obviously know this. 

A few years after this I got to go to Disneyworld again. I went on every ride possible and had my eyes open the whole time. I would even run back into the queues and take second and third turns. Making up for all the times I missed out by not fully enjoying the experience. 

I was lucky enough to get the chance to go back and try it all over again, but of course this is not always the way. 

It is almost 2am and I have just gotten over my huge three stint of anxiety. I am on the last step before I reach my destination and this all popped into my head. 

I think what I am really trying to say is regrets are seldom about what I have done and more about what I have not. I would not say that I regret anything in life per se, because the life I have lived has shaped me to be the person I am today. But I without a doubt missed out on a lot due to my fear of absolutely nothing. 

My anxiety is not quite as tame as I would like it to be, but old habits are hard to break. 

Until next time, take chances. You never know what will happen, it might even be great! 

-Sara 

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