Hello Anxiety

*I just want to thank everybody who took the time to share tips and advice with me. I have coped much better today than I did yesterday and I am actually starting to feel excited about the trip and not panicked.*

I am currently on day two of an anxiety ordeal. This always always happens a week before I start travelling. It does not matter that I have done it a hundred times, I does not matter that there is nothing to worry about, it does not matter that when the travelling portion begins I am perfectly fine. My brain just seems to forget all of that and flips out.

I have no coping method. After failing to tell myself over and over again “please just be normal, please just be normal” no amount of pep talking seems to do the trick. Now I cannot sleep and I will not eat much, not because I do not want to, but because I cannot.

This whole thing is irrational and I cannot understand why it keeps happening. I feel nauseous, my mood just drops to nothing, I get over heated, sometimes I get itchy, sometimes I physically throw up. I have to frequent the bathroom because of my nerves. I get constant heart palpitations.

It feels like unexplainable worry, borderline panic. Nothing I can do can take this anxiety away. I literally have to ride it out. It makes for long days and hot sleepless nights.

This part of me seems like the only thing I will never be able to conquer, because no matter what I do or what I have done to prove to myself that there is nothing to feel nervous about, my brain cannot seem to comprehend this actual fact.

I cannot even distract myself, because it is there, poking me in the head like Chinese water torture. I feel like I have three knots inside me, one in my throat, one in my chest and one in my stomach and the more I try and relax, the tighter they get. Sometimes I gets so bad that I literally cannot breathe. I have to lay there and just hope for the best.

Then suddenly, I make my trip and everything goes back to normal and I feel like nothing has happened and I am like what the hey?! Seriously brain, please get it together because I am stronger than this and you are letting the team down.

I have two more days until I travel and no clue how to deal with this. If you have any tips or advice, I am willing to try anything.

Until next time, breathe…

-Sara

Featured image

Advertisements

185 thoughts on “Hello Anxiety

Add yours

  1. Sadly rationalizing with an anxiety filled brain doesn’t seem to do the trick I totally understand the feeling. I suffer from anxiety too and much of the same symptoms you list are what I face as well. Lately I stop for a second and watch something I know makes me laugh. White Chicks which I know almost every word to has helped me the last couple times. Not necessarily trying to talk yourself down, but completely stepping away for a different kind of emotional trigger, laughter. Hope this helps ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I have really bad anxiety and have recently had to reach out for help and support. It can literally eat away at you at times. I always find it hard to explain to others who are not experiencing it. Cognitive thinking classes may help, music works wonders as well, walking or exercise. Grounding ones self as well. Talking to a therapist or a counsellor about it, journaling.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. That’s very true. My partner tried to help me a lot with my best interests at heart, but we ended up having a discussion where we agreed that he is my partner and not my therapist and it shouldn’t all land on him. It really is not fair.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. It is usually just the build up. Once I get whoever I am going I am fine. You just have to push past it, or unfortunately go through the motions which is what I normally have to do. I have medication this time around and I am travelling on Friday so fingers crossed it goes smoothly.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Choose a point where you feel like from then on everything will be fine and the worry will go away and try and concentrate on that, then once you get there you’ve done it. Best of luck to you! Where are you headed?

      Like

  3. I think it’s important not to beat yourself up about this. Like the fact you kept telling yourself “please be normal.” Imagine a friend was having the same problem, surely you wouldn’t tell them just to be normal and wouldn’t beat them up about it. So my advice is to treat yourself as you would treat a friend. I get the same thing when I travel to see my dad, last time I kept drinking alcohol because I was so scared and then I got sick and I was trembling so much but I do it all for my dad and he has no idea that I go through that whenever I go to see him and I don’t want to tell him either in case I make him feel guilty.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, as much as it is difficult for you, you still go through all of that for your dad. He’s a lucky man. Hopefully it’ll get easier. The last time I travelled I took propranolol and it was definitely an easier journey than most. It might be worth seeing your doctor if possible, just to see if there are any options.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Always remember what you achieve when you find a way to deal with your anxiety, because there will be times when it creeps up on you, but you can only do so much. I’ve been too hard on myself when I slip up and I think I have made it worse at times.

      Like

  4. Sara!! I can connect with you on your experience with anxiety on so many levels. I just posted my first blog post on how I overcame my anxiety naturally. Anxiety is so exhausting, I know, but you can overcome it, friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have anxiety with anything needles, drawing blood, if anyone speaks of fractured bones or serious injuries, I start to shake and whimper my chest neck and back tigten up and I can’t breath. I can not control it. You are not alone. cheers

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I was a through bred jockey and over my career I sustained 19 fractures, may dislocations, separations crush injuries, concussions lots injuries. It started spring 2002, getting my fitness testing for my licenses, started trembling nascous almost past out, now it happens every time, even if I hear some talk of injures.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh wow, well you were very brave to go through it all considering the anxiety it brought out in you. Bravo! Despite all the fractures I am sure that was an amazing experience.

        Like

  6. Hi- I sympathise with your situation. I feel this terror when flying, and the usual things do not help. I tried medication but that freaked me out and left me in a weird place between asleep and awake. The one thing that made it bearable for me was to think that honestly, there isn’t anything you can do- and whether you suffer through this black hole of stress or not, won’t change the outcome. Try to remember that stress will only have a negative impact and that if you have to travel, you might as well try to enjoy it. Think of people who are unable to travel for whatever reason, and all they’ve ever seen is the one street or town they were born in. Feel blessed that you get to see other parts of the world, even if it is a ten minute bus journey, you’re going further on this trip than some people will ever go. I hope this helps a little. I know in the heat of the anxiety not much will help soothe your mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I can totally empathize with this, it’s so frustrating to feel something so intensely and then for it to just go away as though it was nothing. Anyway at the risk of sounding spammy I’ve just started blogging about things like this too so feel free to check it out 🙂 Hope your travels went well.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: