#28DayBlogChallenge Day 25 – Friendship

Because of my introverted personality, I’ve never considered having friends of great importance. Which is really silly on my part. Due to some of my personality flaws, I have lost friends, this is by not knowing how to deal with awkward or difficult situations. I found it easier just to push them right out of the door.

In a few instances I do regret doing this, as I have lost some truly great friends, but it’s my own fault that I didn’t value them more. These days I 100% appreciate the people in my life. I will do what I can to be a good friend to them and be more open as a person, so they genuinely know who I am. It may sound strange, but in the past I have found it very difficult letting people get to know me. I’d be vague and evasive and give off as little as possible. I was secretive and I did anything to avoid confrontation, or what I considered unwanted advice from others. I also felt that I didn’t want to share aspects of my life, because I was paranoid that I’d become the subject of gossip.

I didn’t trust anyone, so I kept everyone at arms length. I did this because then if anything bad were to happen, I could just say “I told you so” to myself. Expecting the worst from every friendship I had.

Over the last few years I’ve learnt that this is not a good way to be. Trusting people doesn’t have to be scary, you have to give a little, or when you’re feeling lonely you’ll only have yourself to blame.

I am now way more open that I used to be. I’m still not completely unlocked and I don’t think I ever will be. I think a little self protection is warranted, but I am by no means as closed off as I used to be and I’m happier this way.

The friends I have in my life I would not want to be without. They accept me and my oddities for what they are and don’t judge me. We have tons in common and I feel like I have support if ever I needed it and I would be there for them if ever they need me too. My new dynamic makes me feel like I have grown as a person and if it wasn’t for all of the lovely people in my life, I don’t think I’d be feeling as good as I do these days.

Until next time, stay awesome!

-Sara

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19 thoughts on “#28DayBlogChallenge Day 25 – Friendship

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  1. It’s great that you’re becoming more open, being open seems risky but it also leads to our highest development and joy if we are willing to endure the bumps. People who try to force you to be open are never acting in your best interest though, even if they think so. That’s just desperation for a connection masquerading as ‘help’, so I totally understand where you’re coming from re. unwanted advice. Love is just appreciating someone exactly where they’re at, not to change them in any way, and be there for them when they ask for it. People get to where they need to be at the time that’s right for them. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I so relate to all this, i’ve lost friends by being closed off and introverted. But luckily enough i’ve managed to find people that i felt comfortable being open with and now wonder what i would do without them. 🙂
    *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Sara! Good post! I listened to a TedTalk by Berne’ Brown not long ago on vulnerability. I think you’d enjoy it. Sometimes “friends” is too narrow a term. Friends should be reserved for those few who really know you and who you can trust with your everything. Acquaintances is everyone else. Sometimes friends move into the acquaintance arena. That’s ok. It leaves room for new friendships to grow. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I was on the run when I left comment…. my fault…. The hooray is for allowing yourself to be vulnerable and to be friendly. I struggled with this very much and did not use the word ‘friend’ for many many years. Seemed like the right idea for a time, but it was the wrong answer. I’m thankful today (as you said) for the people God has placed in my life that I can call friends, that love me for who I am, and encourage me daily. Keep Writing! Keep creating intentional relationships and living life on purpose!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Some people have lots of friends, but the relationships don’t go that deep. Those of us who are more introverted may have fewer friends, but a greater depth of relationship. So it’s kind of a trade-off. I too have lost friends by failing to keep up with them, but I have had to decide how to divide my time between friends, family, and my own need for personal time alone. Carving up the time pie can be a little tricky. I always was a little sloppy cutting pie, but I figure it’s the taste that counts.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s nice to hear someone else going through something that I’ve spent most of my life doing. I am glad that you’re able to open up to people more in the present. Trust is a weird thing where you have to find the balance of what to reveal and the timing of when. Anyways, I just wanted to say that this post made me feel very happy for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. As someone who also suffers with depression, anxiety, and a myriad of other neurological disorders that affect my mood, I understand how especially difficult friendships can be. Even in 2017, so many people just don’t understand how I see things through my sad, anxious moods (maybe you feel the same way).
    I wholeheartedly invite you to contact me if you ever need to talk to someone who understands, or even just for a chat.
    Enjoy your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

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